The Writer's Return

First of all I would like to appologize to those people who frequent my blog, and I have been lacking in posts... I'm sorry, I have not forgotten about you...
I could write on here all the things that I have been busy with, but there's really no good excuse for my absence...
Since my last post I quit my job at Snacks/Peppies... the 3 schedule thing was NOT working for me... it was so hard just to have a day to myself where I wasn't working at all, to just stay home in my pajamas and watch Seinfeld reruns and eat cereal... LOL
(That's really what I do when there's nothing to do... LOL)
What else is new? hmmm...
Well I work full time at the grocery store... and I really enjoy it... I have certain responsibilities that are purely mine, I order certain things for the shelves, I organize/return magazines for display. Those are the SPECIFIC jobs that are mine, but there's always other things to do... We're busy girls...
And then what else?
I am involved in our local drama club, and right now we are working on a couple shorter acts for a comedy piece we're doing for an "invitation only" event being held for some monumental volunteers in our community... the practices have been a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to our performance on the 20th...
Other than that... there's really nothing...
Although I am REALLY looking forward to going out to Regina in November... I can't wait to see my "sister" and her husband... I don't get to see them often, so I am REALLY looking forward to being able to see them for a weekend...
So yeah, now I think you're all caught up on my life...
I hope to post some more deeper thoughts in the near future, so stay tuned... LOL

God bless!

Deep thoughts and summer nights

Well, seeing as I have been absent from the blogging world for almost 2 months and I fear that all my readers have deserted reading my blog anymore...
But I have some updates...
I got a second job... so I work at Snack's/Peppie's and BIGWAY!!!
I got hired 2 weeks ago and that story alone is a pure miracle.... no interview, just hired and then given hours... and man, do I LOVE my job there... I mean, it's no career, but it's definately something I will enjoy doing during my evenings and such.
also,
I am taking some time away from school, I need to save up some more tuition and really decide if this is the right schooling/career path for me...
It's some major decisions and planning, and TIGHT budgeting... something I struggle with...

So yeah, that is the update...
I'm sure I'll be back with some more exciting news as the summer progresses, but for now,
Ciao!

4 things I like about me...

Ok, so this time I wasn't tagged, but I was bored... so here goes... (thanks Erin ;)

Four jobs I've had
1. Service Station Attendant
2. Pizza Artist
3. Church Secretary
4. Short-Order Cook
Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Steel Magnolias
2. Beaches
3. Star Trek (the good ones, with Cpt. Kirk)
4. How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days
Four places I have lived
1. Beausejour
2. Townhouse in Winnipeg
3. Du-plex in Smalltown
4. Apartment in Smalltown
Four television shows I love to watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Close to Home
3. Law & Order SVU
4. CSI (only the original)
Four places I have been on vacation
1. Alberta
2. Israel
3. Kansas City
4. Minneappolis, MN
Four of my favorite dishes
1. Lasagne
2. Chicken (ANYTHING)
3. Thai
4. I love trying new foods... so whatever
Four websites I visit daily
1. myspace/blogs
2. my email (I have like 4 email addys... don't ask...)
3. Winnipeg Weather
4. GOOGLE (where would I be without Google??)
Four places I would rather be right now
1. Israel
2. Regina
3. A beach somewhere warm
4. In a happier season in my life....
Four bloggers I am tagging
1. Beth
2. Mel
3. Sue
4. Quincy

Enjoy!!

Sweet Home Manitoba

Ok, I'm back...
after a long drive, on a little bit of sleep... I arrived home 45 mins before my work shift started, talk about cutting a close one, eh?
On my long drive home, I listened to a LOT of music... and seeing as how I've posted almost ONLY music lyrics on here... I thought I'd stay true to form...
This song, I had heard it before... but I felt that God really sent it just for me...
It's You Are Loved (Don't Give Up), by Josh Groban...
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

Wow, eh? As I listened to that song, driving down the TransCanada Highway, all I could think about is that God loves me... I AM LOVED. And so are you!!

just so you know...

I'm in Regina... safe and sound... with SUE!!!!

I have some pictures from the drive.... and I'm sure I'll post them all when I get home (Sunday)
But for now I will leave you in suspense....

Just so you know...
I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE!!!!

Take care y'all and I'll talk to you again soon...

Banana for Jesus.... Part 2

OK, well, I'm sure some of you are going to be reading this post and be like... "is that really a picture of a banana??" YES it is... and there is a REALLY good reason why it is included in this blog...

This past spring (May 2006) I went through a really horrible break up, my fiance of 6 months dumped me 5 months before our wedding date. So I was really torn up and upset. So I finished my school term and left to work at a Christian Family camp for the summer.

While I was at the camp, I was surrounded by awesome teaching, new and old friends, and TONNES AND TONNES OF PRAYER! I couldn't have asked for a better place to be to receive healing for my heart, and soul.

Anyway, the banana... how does this enter into this all...

Well, one morning during staff meeting, one of the ladies that was working there suggested that instead of having a formal staff meeting, we should just soak in the presence of God. I had done this previous times in my life, so I laid back in the couch I was sitting on and just opened up my heart to the Lord, and of course, I started to cry....

and cry,

and cry,

and cry,

then I stopped crying and He showed me a picture of a banana... and I thought to myself, "why is God showing me a banana?? It must not be God...." so I started to think to myself why I was thinking so intently on a banana... I wasn't hungry, I wasn't smelling bananas, I couldn't figure out why I was seeing this clear picture of banana...

So I prayed, and I asked God that if He was giving me this picture that He would clarify it to me.

and I waited

and waited

NOTHING

just nothing

I could feel God was in the room, but with this whole banana thing, NOTHING

so the staff meeting ended and I went to my kitchen and started baking... forgetting about the banana picture.

THE NEXT DAY...

again in staff meeting, we were having a time of prayer, and again, I started thinking about this banana...

so again, I asked God to clarify it for me.

and as I sat there waiting for an explanation, the picture changed, the banana was starting to be peeled...

So I said, " ok God, I'm thinking this whole banana thing is from You... so can You please explain it further..."

Then He said to my heart "You are the banana.... but the hard, bitter peel, that is NOT a part of you, I want to remove all the bitterness and hurt and hard shell from you, I want to reveal the sweet fruit that is inside of you."

I started laughing - out loud...

so, I'm a banana for Jesus...

I wouldn't want to be any other fruit for anybody else...

TONIGHT

I was driving home from the city with some friends, and I saw a Telus billboard, it said "Feel Like the Top Banana" haha

How perfect...

not only am I a banana, but I am the TOP banana... that's how JESUS sees ME!!

Be blessed.

sleepless nights and song titles

Last night, I couldn't sleep...
So I did what I normally do when I can't sleep...
I lay there, tossing and turning, and then eventually I pray and grab my MP3 player...
Well last night, the song that came on my MP3 player was not one that I was very familiar with, I knew the title, I knew the artist... but beyond that, I hadn't really listened to the song... The song was by Superchick and is called "Beauty from Pain"...
I liked the title so much when I first heard it, that I retitled my blog to use it instead...
But as I lay there in my bed, and listened, really listened to the words, I realized that this song is my story... Not everyday, but some days... it's getting better, so it's not every day... but last night was one of those "some days"...
Anyway, I don't know what you're going through right now.... but I thought I'd put the words up here, so you can read them... God bless!

"Beauty From Pain"
by Superchick

the lights go out all around me
one last candle to keep out the night
and then the darkness surrounds me
i know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
and all that's left is to accept that it's over
my dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
i try to keep warm but i just grow colder
i feel like i'm slipping away

after all this has passed, i still will remain
after i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
though it won't be today,
someday i'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
YOU will bring beauty from my pain

my whole world is the pain inside me
the best i can do is just get through the day
when life before is only a memory
i'll wonder why GOD lets me walk through this place
and though i can't understand why this happened
i know that i will when i look back someday
and see how YOU've brought beauty from ashes
and made me as gold purified through these flames

after all this has passed, i still will remain
after i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
though it won't be today,
someday i'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
YOU will bring beauty from my pain

here i am, at the end of me
tryin to hold to what i can't see
i forgot how to hope
this night's been so long
i cling to YOUR promise
there will be a dawn

after all this has passed, i still will remain
after i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
though it won't be today,
someday i'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
YOU will bring beauty from my pain

yeah... here's one for you...

Well, I got tagged!! My friend, Erin, tagged me with this Meme that she had done...
Looks like this could get interesting...

I'm eating a leftover hamburger (w/ mayo, on wheat bread) and sautéd zucchini as I type this. What did YOU eat last? Well, my mom isn't feeling too well, so I was on my own for dinner. I made egg rolls. They were yummy...

I am totally head-over-heels for a very tall man named James, who has a very sexy new haircut (picked out by me, of course! lol) What about YOUR love life? Anyone special? Love life?? haha, not yet... LOL.. well, er, maybe... but there may be a prospect or two... LOL... I'll just keep it to myself for now.

I live in a little house, with lots of trees, on a dead-end street. What is it like where you live? I live on the second floor in an apartment with my mom, there are evergreens out front, and a credit union parking lot in the back. It's a quiet street... but good.


I love my hair, and my cute wittle nose. What are YOUR favourite features about yourself? I like my hair (most days) and I like my smile... I have a square smile... I like that... lol. I love my laugh too... and I love TO laugh...

Today, I pondered about the need for mentoring in young women's lives. What deep thoughts have YOU been pondering upon? Hmmm, that's an interesting question... Lately I've been pondering the thoughts of love in life. If I will fall in love, if I WANT to fall in love, etc, etc, etc...

I love cheese (cubed colby & monterey jack) and green growing things! List 2 random things you love about life. 2 random things... hmm, let's see... I LOVE sunrises and sunsets... they are true demonstrations of God's power and love, secondly: I love sitting on the dock at the lake and just listening to the waves...

I found CAC (Create a Connection) through Melba, who I found through A Mindful Life, which I stumbled on by doing a random search for Buddhist blogs, for no apparent reason! How did YOU find out about CAC? Don't have a clue what Create a Connection is.

I absolutely *heart* thunderstorms! What do YOU love most about spring? Spring? Is there actually something to love about spring?? To me, spring is the torture that teases us about summer... I'd rather just have summer all year long... but that's just me...

ok... so... Mel, Steph, Ruth, and anyone else who reads this, consider yourself TAGGED! so go ahead... answer the questions... LOL

speechless

That's right...
it has finally come to this...
I have NOTHING to blog about... LOL

So yeah... I'm just sitting here, thinking about my life...
How monotonous and routine it is...

So yeah...
( I think I say that too much) lol
does anyone have anything to ask?
or tag me?? I'll answer a survey...

Whatever.
I just hope you are all doing well.

God bless!

new job...

Well... it's HAPPENED... I am no longer a part-time student looking for a job....
I am a part-time student WITH a job...
That's right...
re-read that sentence if you have to... but Kate is NO LONGER unemployed!!
I am the newest member of the Niverville Co-op (aka Country Snacks) team!
I've only worked one day... but I learned SO MUCH!!

So, if you're in the area and need your gas tank filled up...
come see me...
I don't jump to the pump, but I sure do a good job... LOL

Just wanted to share my joy with you all!!

Hope you're staying dry and warm...
HAPPY SPRING!

wanna know more?

I really don't know what to post... so here's a crazy idea....
comment on here a question of something you want to know about me...
then the next time I post, I'll answer all your crazy questions... ok?

great...

Captivating?? Yes I am!!

In my Christmas post, I mentioned how I got the book "Captivating" for Christmas from my prayer sister... Well, I've finished it!
I would like to encourage all my friends, but mostly my female friends that if you have NOT read this book, READ IT! It is so amazing!
As I was reading it, God was totally encouraging me on my road of healing, it was so awesome. While I was reading it, God was showing my phrases that I needed to write out and read to myself over and over again.
So I sat there reading, and writing... it was so good.
The passages that affected the most I've included here...

To live as an authentic, ransomed, and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment. If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. We cannont play the 'ezer' [helpmate] role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only to the world the face we have learned is safe. You have only one life to live. It would be best to live your own.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wronged and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers... of love is Hell." (C.S. Lewis "The Four Loves"

This last one was written from the author to all women, after I read it, God showed me that I need to write it out to me. So as I copied it out of the book, I changed all the "you"s to "I"s.

I am a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation.I was chosen before time and space and I am wholly and deeply loved. I am sought after, pursued, romanced, the passionate desire of my Fiance, Jesus. I am dangerous in my beauty and my life-giving power.
And I am needed
As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, I can be strong and tender. I speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and His desire for intimate relationship. I am inviting; I can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of my life as well as my need for more because I am safe in God's love. I labor with God to bring forth life - in creativity, in work, in others. My aching, awakened heart leads me to the feet of Jesus, where I wait on Him and wait for Him. The eyes of His heart are ever upon me. The King is captivated by MY beauty.
I am needed. I am needed to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of teh heart that He placed within me so that I will come alive to Him and to the role that is mine to play. Perhaps I am meant to be a concert musician or a teacher. Perhaps I am meant to be a neurologist or a horse trainer. Perhaps I am to be an activist for ecology, or the poor, or the aged, or the ill. I am certainly called to be a woman, wherever else He leads me.
And that is crucial, dear heart. Whatever my particular calling, I am meant to grace the world with my dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever He leads me. He will lead me first into Himself, and then, with Him, He will lead me into the world that He loves and needs me to love.
It is by Invitation.

(all these quotes can be found in the book "Captivating" by John and Staci Eldridge.)
PLEASE BUY THE BOOK, or if you don't buy it... BORROW it from someone...
(the reason why I say buy it is because EVERYONE should own it, and for those that own it, they usually don't want to loan it out :D)

Anyway. Women, be encouraged. God loves you.
and I do too!

Every good and perfect gift...

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED!!!

Ever since my 16th birthday (or before) I've wanted my own car.
A space that was just my own, that I could keep as messy or as clean as I wanted.
Just mine... and no one elses...
and... God has heard my prayers... not only HEARD them... ANSWERED them..
I am now the proud owner of a 1993 Pontiac Sunbird!!!
It's so pretty... bright blue!
Yeah, it's a little rusty, but whatever... the things 14 years old!!
But she runs like the wind, and I love her!
I will post a picture soon...

but for now I leave it to your imagination!

January Birthdays

The above pictures are my 21st birthday cake. It was a Blueberry Trifle Cake... mmmm

P.J. just turned 24 yesterday... this is his Oreo-Mint-Chocolate-Chip-Ice-Cream Birthday cake... He really enjoyed it... the rest of us? well, HE enjoyed it!

smoke signals

this morning I was rudely awoken to the sound of my smoke alarm... first thing I did was look at the time.... 6:55 a.m. I'd only been in bed for about 4 hours... I took a deep breath and smelled something smokey....
"oh no! my house is on fire!!!"
I jump out of bed and almost collide with my mom as she heads down the hall to the smoke alarm (it's right outside both our bedrooms) she started fanning the alarm and I started walking around: touching things to see if they were hot... smelling for smoke...
there was no smoke in our apartment... but I went to the open window (our apartment gets REALLY warm, so we leave a window open almost 24/7) I smelled outside and nothing was smokey there... so I went to our door... first I touched it (like I was always taught) then I looked out the peephole... nothing... just calm apartment hallway...
so I then repeated what I had just done with our storage room door... again nothing...
I was pacing around our apartment... and as I got closer to the bedrooms I could smell more smoke... my mom was in her room and she pulled her bed away from the wall to find out that...

somehow in the middle of the night, her baseboard heater turned itself on!
so then we ran around touching all the heaters...
we then discovered that the heater in the dining room had turned itself on too!
so we called our landlord to tell him... and he told us to flip the breakers... so we did, and they started to cool down....
what our landlord figured is that our heaters must have gotten so cold that they had to turn themselves on. So now we flipped the breakers to prevent anything from going wrong again.

My mom and I had NEVER turned the heat on in our apartment... cuz it's usually quite warm... so we didn't know there was a problem until they turned themselves on this morning...

It's funny how so often in my own life I do things (sin) and I don't properly deal with it... and for a while... life is great... peachy keen... then all-of-a-sudden this sin rises up and bites me in the butt... it tries to burn my "house" down... it tries to destroy me.

If my mom and I had been awake when this happened... we probably would've smelled it right away and then dealt with it... so the smoke alarm wouldn't have started screaming at us.
But we weren't awake... we were both fast asleep...
(I just remembered a few months back, they came to test our smoke alarm, until then, there was a DEAD battery in it... PTL they checked....)

In our spiritual lives, how often do we "fall asleep"? we forget to do our devotions, or we tune God out to do our own thing...
How many times do we allow ourselves to sin before eventually we realize what we're really doing... we pressing our beds up against our hot heaters and falling asleep!

Don't wait until tomorrow, if there's sin in your heart, deal with it now.... you never know if that alarm is going to sound in the middle of the night... and your batteries are dead...

Remember: the devil comes as a theif in the middle of the night to steal, kill and destroy
But Jesus came so that we can have life!

Christmas and New Year's Update

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
I realize that I've been away for a while... so here I am to update you!
Christmas was great... lots of family time...
I left on the 27th for Kansas City. I attended the 'onething' conference, it was SO awesome!
I got back yesterday (on my birthday: 21!!)
Today my mom and I went shopping and I got a new cell phone for my b-day!!

I start school tomorrow... please pray...

I'm really tired right now so I'm writing this for now, but I'll probably come back on Thursday and add to it...

God bless